Pete Olsen Gives Lessons: Lesson One: What To Say
Me: I just finished yoga for the second day in a row!
I am going to be so skinny this summer.
Pete Olsen: Not too skinny!
You can do side bends or sit ups, but please don’t lose that butt.

“Barocket Obama is So Function”
Me: I just finished yoga for the second day in a row!
I am going to be so skinny this summer.
Pete Olsen: Not too skinny!
You can do side bends or sit ups, but please don’t lose that butt.
A new Liberal Oasis podcast is up, and it features ME! Hooray! I talk about how I would get creeped out by all the Tiger Beat posters of Duran Duran on my wall, so much so that I didn’t like to get undressed. In my defense, I had a LOT of posters, and all those dudes were Way older than me. Also I am psyched I got to swear again on the radio. They shall call me Seven Second Delay Olsen!
Have a lovely day, kids.
P.S.: This blog post proves my point of the awesomeness of blogs, and the true connections that occur. So there.
“Sweetie! If you liked it then you should have put a ring on it!”
“I did. We have been married 9 years. I did put a ring on it.”
“Would you start to trip if some other brother noticed me?”
“No.”
“What? But some Other Brother noticed me!!! You are supposed to trip!”
“….” (stares intently at Reddit home page)
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(please stop reading if you ever want to have respect for me ever again.)
That kind of conversation is what happens when you read that part of Eclipse when Jacob is all aggressively pining for Bella and Edward is all * growl * and Jacob is all “man I wanna fuck Bella” and Edward is all, “dude I can hear you”.

I wish Edward and Jacob both wanted to be my boyfriend and they had sexy restrained relationships …in which scenario Edward = Pete and Jacob =
. Perhaps a TayLau/RPatz dual boot robot.
.
IM conversation in response to my gmail status: “eatin’ puke bread on the shoe porch“, which was in response to an email thread that had become completely derailed, as happens in our small social circle.
Jaz: that sounds like the title of one of those really depressing books about abused southern black children who watched their mamas get raped by town officials
me: wow you just totally bummed me out, Jaz Tupelo
Jaz: it wasn’t me
it was the poor abused children
me: thanks for bumming me out, black kids
Jaz: just for that, i’m going to cut affirmative action
me: you leave me no choice
Jaz: you’ve got no one to blame but yourself for having to eat puke bread on the shoe porch
me: damn, black kids, why can’t you be more like affluent white kids?
and that is all for Suddenly Racist Theater!
Jaz: thank you and goodnight!