See, you thought your life was complete, didn’t you? But it was hollow and empty, until now.

link via One Good Thing

I was going to post something insightful about the nature of love, but instead I will link to a Napoleon Dynamite soundboard. Link via suburban bliss. She is the bomb even though everyone hates her. (not me!)

Today was BabyHead’s first swim class and let me be the first to report that it was the cutest thing that has ever happened on Earth. Ever.

I was worried the day would be ruined, as I had a Procedure yesterday and after it was done the nurse said, “So, no baths or swimming for 3 days” and, lo, I was bummed.

But the very nice swim class lady took her and used her as the Show Baby so she would not have to sit on the sidelines like her loser mother. She very adepty demonstrated for the other babies the proper way to play “Motorboat, Motorboat”, and generally was the star of the show. Honestly, I could have just gone home; she didn’t even glance in my direction once.
Sigh. I am slightly pining for the “stranger anxiety” days. (why do I feel like I should put a hex up after typing that?)

Last item for Swim Class: BabyHead has 2 bikinis, but today chose to wear her one piece, in a stunning light blue with white tutu and little duckie legs dangling below the embroidered duckie on the belly. I. Can’t. Stand. The Cute.

We have found a new cool place to spend all of our meager discretionary “weekend money”:
The Lady Killegrew’s Cafe in Montague. It is housed in an old saw mill, and if you click on the link it will be obvious how cool it is. They have chocolate cupcakes made from a WWII ration recipe, and it is attached to a fab used book store, complete with funky weird reading rooms. The best one is the cupola with one overstuffed chair in it. The book store has the best slogan: “Books you don’t need in a place you can’t find”. How intriguing is That?

Today BabyHead threw up every meal she had. So, once in our bed at 5am, then again in our bed at 8am, then the finale on our couch and all over the last pair of clean pants I had at around 11am. Other than the projectile vomiting of a gallon of breast milk, she seems fine and in good spirits; she grins and giggles after the spew. She has managed to not spew 1/2 an ounce of Pedialite this afternoon, so I think we are on the right track. We had an appointment for shots and a check up tomorrow anyway, so we’ll see what’s up with the girl tomorrow.

< uncharacteristically offensive diatribe >
Lastly, we went to the mall yesterday, and we brought the stroller (and the baby in it). Since we can’t take the stroller onto the escalator or the stairs, we had to use the elevators. But each time we went to get on or off the elevators, there was always a gaggle of fatties in sweatpants crowding the door. Forgive me for being offensive, but if you are packing a few extra pounds (and you know who you are), take the damn stairs! ‘In fact, just take the stairs anyway. I personally have never taken the elevator in the mall or anywhere where stairs are readily available, especially when I have to go One Flight. We are not shopping at the Empire State Building, people. Or, god forbid, take the Stairs that Move For You, if you are just that fatigued.
To me, the elevator is for the people who cannot physically use the stairs, such as the elderly, the handicapped, and the people with infants on wheels. It is a *service* to those who need it, not a convenience for you to be more fat.
< /uncharacteristically offensive diatribe >

I just ate 2 individual chocolate puddings; I am thinking of going for a third.

Oh by the way did I mention that I got my period for the first time since January 04?

I am certain these two things are unrelated.

I was just getting used to having a little cash every once in a while, and now I am forced (forced!) to curb my willy nilly, impulse purchase, capitalist glutton-y spending. The reason for this is not lack of money; it is lack of memory.

I use my atm card for everything, and I have typed my PIN (not my “PIN number”, I’m not a dolt) into so many of those little contraptions at the register that it is an autonomic response, like my heartbeat. So when HH was driving and we pulled up to the drive through ATM (again, not the “ATM machine”) (also not drive “thru”, for god’s sake. *shudder*), he asked for my PIN, and my brain simply shorted out. I tried mimeing entering my PIN in every variation I could think of. It just wasn’t available for recall.

Long story short, we tried one too many times, and now my card is locked and they have to send me a new one. Of course, I found out my card was locked by going to the grocery store and having my full cart of food rolled away from me while I glumly stood in line at the (thankfully in-store) bank branch to beg for some cash to pay for my food. That’s fun, let me tell ya.

What’s also fun is going to Target later and spending more than the amount of cash I have for frivolous things like diapers and teething rings to Stop. The. Crying. So I had to actually say to the cashier, “Okay, can you take the baby formula off the bill?”. Eurgh.
(and before anyone berates me for using formula, I *am* nursing, it’s just that she’s a hungry hungry monster and needs to tank up before bed or we’ll be up all night. My ample bosom is no match for her voracity.)

On a happy note, I pre-ordered the new Harry Potter from amazon.co.uk! Did you know there is a children’s version and an adult version? I wonder if Harry gets his groove on in the adult one? How adult are we talking here? Stay tuned to find out.

Today we subjected BabyHead to medical experiments.

Okay, actually we participated in UMass psychology department research that studies babies to see if they rely on vision to grasp objects. Apparently, adults do rely on vision, as do 9 and 12 month old babies, but 4 and 5 month olds do not. Sort of interesting, if you are a blue state yuppie intellectual liberal fop, as I am (did I mention that I am reading “What’s the Matter with Kansas?).

BabyHead managed to skew the data, as she reached for the ball or ring with her left hand even though all the markers were on her right arm. The researcher would hand her things as far to the right as he could, and she would reach for his hand with her right and move it over until she could grasp the ball with her left hand. He thought it was really funny, and lamented that she would be too old for a “handedness” study that they would be conducting next year.

Personally, I am glad she is left handed, like me, since everyone I see asks me if I had anything at all to do with her creation. She looks just like her dad, which is not fair, since his other 2 kids look just like him, too. I look like my mother, so I just assumed Oddie would look like me. But we can be united in similar sex organs and left handedness. Girly lefties unite!

Yesterday, HH was brushing his teeth and BabyHead was sitting on my lap, and she just reached over and grabbed HH’s finger and looked up at him adoringly.

Sometimes she’s so sweet I just can’t handle it.