Going through the calendar, I realize we have every weekend booked up until after Thanksgiving. And then it’s, you know, the damn holidays. Positive spin: at least I am not an unwanted loser destined to die alone being eaten by cats on a shabby sofa. So, there’s that.
I am trading handmade socks for handmade jewelry! My toes will be so toasty and fashionable!
Sesame Street’s gift to you in these trying times:
1. Girl has a double ear infection. Hasn’t gone to school all week, hasn’t slept much, is miserable. I just have a small cold, however I haven’t got any work done, haven’t slept much, am miserable.
2. Luxury lunch today: ham and cheese sandwich with local bread and Pete-made pickles; Malt Vinegar and Sea Salt Chips; Organic Mind, Body, and Soul free-trade coffee with new Hershey’s Special Dark syrup. Call me an elitist, but really I am having a sandwich and a cup of coffee, which is totally what Phillip Marlowe would have for lunch when he wasn’t having a shot of rye and a blonde instead.
3. “Stop bugging me. I’m in my bedroom.”-Audrey, not quite 4 years old.
4. She also came home from school knowing how to count to five in Spanish. Awesome. “Uno, dos, trayce, wop-oh, sinko.”
5. You should go check out Hadron Haters. I am the copyeditor, which is a bigger job than you would think on this particular site.
My Doorbell from Traci Olsen on Vimeo.
At the Green Bean for breakfast this morning, the girl had one more piece of bacon left, and insisted on taking it home with her. She marched out of the restaurant holding one piece of bacon in two outstretched hands, as if carrying an ancient relic. No one could look me in the eye, but all were stifling smirks.
In the car, after the bacon was eaten, her hands were all coated in bacon grease, and before I could clean her, she smoothed her hair back from her face. The girl reeks of bacon, but her bangs haven’t moved.
“Barocket Obama is so function.”
…because such would require effort. Perish the thought.
I was getting gas, and Audrey was strapped in her carseat. I go to get back in the car and see that she has somehow procured an umbrella and has opened it up. From behind the fully extended umbrella, I hear, “Mama. I have a situation.”
I told it to Kevin anyway, of course, and then we ended up giggling for ten minutes about how not funny my unfunny thought bubble was.
Insider Alert: One Ms. Jaz Tupelo was terribly un-PC this evening, much to my shock and horror. I almost had the vapors.
To borrow from the much beloved Hodgman, THAT IS ALL.
One of my very favorite bloggers, Mimi Smartypants, has this great idea:
“I have been using Wikipedia as a sort of fortune-teller, hitting “random article” and seeing what it portends.”
I suggest we all start using it immediately and for the rest of our lives. Horoscopes are so last century.
