“Sweetie! If you liked it then you should have put a ring on it!”
“I did. We have been married 9 years. I did put a ring on it.”
“Would you start to trip if some other brother noticed me?”
“No.”
“What? But some Other Brother noticed me!!! You are supposed to trip!”
“….” (stares intently at Reddit home page)
——————————————————————
(please stop reading if you ever want to have respect for me ever again.)
That kind of conversation is what happens when you read that part of Eclipse when Jacob is all aggressively pining for Bella and Edward is all * growl * and Jacob is all “man I wanna fuck Bella” and Edward is all, “dude I can hear you”.
I wish Edward and Jacob both wanted to be my boyfriend and they had sexy restrained relationships …in which scenario Edward = Pete and Jacob = 
. Perhaps a TayLau/RPatz dual boot robot. 
.
IM conversation in response to my gmail status: “eatin’ puke bread on the shoe porch“, which was in response to an email thread that had become completely derailed, as happens in our small social circle.
Jaz: that sounds like the title of one of those really depressing books about abused southern black children who watched their mamas get raped by town officials
me: wow you just totally bummed me out, Jaz Tupelo
Jaz: it wasn’t me
it was the poor abused children
me: thanks for bumming me out, black kids
Jaz: just for that, i’m going to cut affirmative action
me: you leave me no choice
Jaz: you’ve got no one to blame but yourself for having to eat puke bread on the shoe porch
me: damn, black kids, why can’t you be more like affluent white kids?
and that is all for Suddenly Racist Theater!
Jaz: thank you and goodnight!
Ben Affleck
Jude Law
Carmen Electra
Eminem
Alyssa Milano
Busta Rhymes
I am as old as Busta Rhymes. I am not sure why that is weird for me, but it is.
I have The Sleep Deprivation Stupids today, so I think I will just space out and stare at Taylor Lautner for a while instead of doing any real work. Have a nice day.
I swore a Bunch on the radio this weekend.
Then, to emphasize the bad (good?) parenting, I said to Pete this morning, “You are super S-E-X-Y.”
Audrey says, “Daddy’s sexy! Ha ha! Daddy’s sexy!”
I did not know she knew how to do that.
Moral: never teach your children to spell or read.
Good Reads
