If you make ground turkey burritos, and add the salsa in while cooking, and have leftovers, the next day the salsa will be mixed a bit with the gelatin and fat from the turkey. If you are then me, you will say the term “Gelatinous Salsa” over and over, to the tune of “Detachable Penis“.

Sorry for the earworm.

So, remember a while back when I had that extra mystery pair of socks? Well, IT HAPPENED AGAIN. This time, just one sock. One extra sock, and I KNOW I didn’t have it before. These socks, I remember, came in a pack of 2 pair, one plain light green, one argyle. I now have 3 light green socks, 2 argyle socks. And at first I was annoyed, like, “Look Universe, if you are trying to tell me something you are not being very clear. One might even say purposefully obtuse.” But then I thought, you know, if I were somehow put in charge of sending people messages from the universe, I would probably think that sending people random socks would be funny. I would giggle and send my minions out to pepper the Dalai Lama’s laundry with polka dot tube socks whenever he prayed for guidance. It would be a riot, and I think the Dalai Lama would think so, too. We so get each other, the Lama and I.

So, I am not mad at you, Universe. But if this message is important, you ought to give me a bigger hint, or perhaps even just spell it out. I am not getting it. Unless the message is, “make sure your feet are warm!” Then, I hear ya loud and clear.

I am trying to get podcasts on my OTHER BLOG and so far I have managed to completely crash the app that edits my audio (it went all black and scary!), and somehow the settings that I need to set to make the audio exist online do not, in fact, exist anywhere. Do you know how frustrating it is when the instructions are, “Simply click the Formatting tab! It’s so easy a monkey could do it while getting clubbed in the head!” BUT THERE IS NO FORMATTING TAB!!! WHERE IS THE FORMATTING TAB?! I HAVE LOOKED EVERYWHERE!!!

(composes self, discontinues writhing on floor and most of the hair pulling)

So, very soon, I shall be podcast! I shall! Even if it kills me, or at least a tiny bit of my soul. Podcasts are worth it. YOU are worth it. (manic gleam in eye returns) It…will…be…awesome!

I am entering a contest to win a copy of Seers of Light, by Jen DeLucy, and they want a photo that means light to me. So, at the risk of being sappy, I posted this one of Audrey when she was tiny and mostly hairless. Do you not just want to squish her??? She is so squishable!!!

So, I hope I win a copy so that I may foist it upon as many people as I can, because I love this book, both for the growly sexiness and the “I want to be in a gang of supernatural cool people”-ness. The author is super cute, too.

work from home tip:

If you decide to blast old skool Beastie Boys and dance around, do not continue to wiggle your ass around while you take out the trash, because there just may be an entire 3rd grade class standing right there waiting to go into the woods behind your house to do nature study.