Hey, Everybody! Want to feel like the worst parent in the entire world? All you have to do is watch a dentist put a filling in your four year old’s tender, precious, used-to-be-unharmed mouth! It’s the Worst Thing In The World, and I may never recover! They even label your child with a big sticker that says, “Watch Me! My lips and tongue are numb!” Meaning: make sure your kid doesn’t chew the shit out of her mouth while you are drinking beer and watching Oprah and smoking menthol ultra lights in your underwear!
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damn those sugarbugs!
Oh, Sheeeit….How did the Girl do with all of this?
Did I mention that the Bean has her very first dentist appointment Monday? And that the reason for said appointment is that she keeps pointing to the same spot in her mouth and saying “my teeth hurt.” We should totally drink beer and watch Oprah together…
SHE did great; it was all I could do not to pass out. I tried to tell the dental assistant that I was freaking out without letting A. hear it; she had her give me a thumb’s up every once in while, which was heartbreakingly adorable. Worst. Mother. Ever.
I will meet you at my Doritos-littered couch, in my “housecoat” while the girls play with matches in the corner…
Man, what a traumatic image- menthol ultra lights? GROSS!
I remember my root canal at 7 (yes, 7). They told me the same thing: “Be careful or you will chew your face off without knowing it!” Freeked me out so much that to this day when I see some hotty coyly biting her lip I start having a panic attack.
I knew it. I knew it all along. Doritos and underwear and menthols. That’s you, all over!
Wanna borrow my pink camo beer hat? It’s handy for visits to the pediatrician….